Lover Turns One

Of my many misdemeanors, standing tall like a radio tower and airing love songs has been the worst

Today is the first book anniversary of my book Lover. Lover is the first book in the two part poetry series The Art Of Staying Lost. To celebrate, I made cupcakes today and I thought it would be a good idea to share one of my favorite poems from my book. This is A Love Like This….

When I fell in love, I was the universe. I had clouds in my
hair, moons in the dimples on my face and a thousand suns
in my mouth. I was full of fire and zest for life; drenched in
devotion we find only in books written centuries ago, when
love was just not love, love was poetry and love was art.

I didn’t love like the women who swiped left and right from
one heartbreak to another. I couldn’t just trade some skin
for scraps of attention from men who would never use a
Swiss knife to declare their love for me by scraping my
initials on the bark of an old oak tree or promise me a
forever with a lovelock on Ponte Des Arts. I needed a
Romeo. I deserved a Shakespeare in love. I deserved a man
who had birds flying out of his ribcage every time he saw
me smile.

They say grey mixed with any color becomes exotic. I am
unloved and grey now. Grey like sadness, grey like this
darkness. I am all shades of beautiful, but I fear I will never be enough.

I have loved you in every love story ever told in this multiverse
but will you ever be able to love me with all this darkness inside me?

Will you be my lover again?
Do you have a heart twice the size of this universe? Is there room
in your soul for a love as big as the size of a thousand suns?
I will be waiting for you with sunflowers in my hair, with
desperation on my lips and hope in my eyes. I am in pieces
now but I still love with this fierce madness. I am barely
making it through my days, but I will hold it together till
you find your way back to me.

It is both adorable and devastating how I have self
destructed. My story is pure gold, they will talk about me
long after I am gone. I am a dream, a lyric, a hymn, a chant.
I am not okay but I am, I am…

Read me like your favourite book, word for word
Sing me like your favourite song, beat for beat
Take a walk with me in your dreams, hand in hand
Chant me like a prayer, bead for bead
Hold me in your arms like I am magic, dark, cursed yet
loveable. Love me the way no one has ever been loved

Lover and Lost are available at a special price of $15.43 for both books on Amazon. You can get all my books here:

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